To be honest, I've been being in a war with myself lately. From something simple like choosing outfit. Or decision of saving money. Or what I should do after my undergraduate thesis exams over. Or what movie I will watch. Or what music I will listen. I found myself taking decision A but ended up taking B. Saying I'm going to save money but ended up buying several stuffs the following day and calming myself, "That's okay. You're going to need these stuffs".
Sometimes I think I'm not human. Seeing the piles of stuffs that I've just bought and I'm going to be happy. Even window shopping makes me happy. There's happiness from going-choosing-paying stuffs with money. And use it, empty the bottles or plastic packs.
I know there's nothing wrong with "buying". It's normal. It's common thing. But I'm not being able to handle myself from saving. As someone who's unable to earn money for myself, it's frustrating. I rely on my mom or grandparents or auntie (they give me money sometimes) and they're okay. But I worry when/during/after I get/use my money. And I always tell myself to save some. But fail.
Hopefully I'll be having a job soon. Or maybe there'll be miracle which we are able to be a proof living of money rain.
Image via futurmodel.
Image via futurmodel.
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